"On the Verge of Yes" – My Latest Portrait – Between Decision, Art, and Inner Journey

The Instagram Lesson – Why I Redirected My Energy 

"On the Verge of Yes" - Just finished.

In recent months, I’ve been experimenting a lot with Instagram. I really wanted to understand how the platform treats artists who don’t want to bend to every algorithm – not constantly posting Reels, not following every trend, not following others just to be seen. So, I set up an additional test account to observe the system.

What I found: reach is heavily restricted, almost everything is limited if you don’t play along. Leaving comments, following trends, making a fool of yourself – everything you don’t really want to do seems necessary just to be visible.

If you don’t play the game, it becomes almost impossible.

This realization was liberating: why waste energy on something that only frustrates? In June, I created a TikTok account to have a direct comparison with Instagram. There, I hardly follow anyone, don’t browse, don’t like, don’t comment. To my surprise, my videos initially performed similarly to Instagram (with 1,100 followers and some interactions), and with each video, a few more followed me. Recently, I decided to focus on the platforms where organic growth is still possible. And barely had I made this decision, something remarkable happened:

A video I made for TikTok became my most successful one so far – over 18,000 views, countless comments, and continuing to grow every day.

It was as if the universe had confirmed for me: this step was the right one.

(After all, isn’t that what we artists really want? We want to show our art.)

Now, I only share my finished works on Instagram, maintain my gallery there, and will continue sharing my painting process on YouTube and TikTok.

Of course, I still occasionally take the time to visit my favorite accounts on Instagram – but only to remind myself how frustrated I am with Meta and the way they treat their users. The arbitrary way in which they act against users’ interests… it’s a cold system, focused solely on its own interests, and barely connected to real people anymore.

On the Verge of Yes - My Latest Portrait in Black and White

But now, back to the main topic haha… my portrait! What is there to say about it… I’ll start with why I chose this reference, which I discovered a while ago on Unsplash. Originally, I wanted to draw it in charcoal, but I eventually decided to create it as an oil painting instead.

The portrait is rendered in black and white, and I deliberately focused on the tonal values – delicate transitions between light and shadow, with occasional strong contrasts around the eyes.

Originally, I had planned to further refine the painting and even use my splattering technique to create pores.

But as I was painting, I realized it wasn’t necessary. Even now, the portrait feels intense and powerful without any additional details. A painting unfolds its impact when you stand before it – from a certain distance, not up close.

Hmm… or should I still do it? Would it enhance my artistic signature? Haha… as I write this blog post, I’m thinking about it… we’ll see – if the impulse strikes me, I’ll of course update the article later.

The Inner Dimension of My Latest Portrait – Introspection, Decision, and Surrender

The woman in the painting may be wearing a wedding dress – yet the step she is about to take remains open to interpretation by the viewer.

Her eyes are closed, and she holds the fabric lightly beneath her chin, almost as if she is holding on to a moment or a feeling.

For me, this portrait unexpectedly reflects a stage of my own journey – a step into a new phase of life, full of uncertainty but also surrender. It is a promise to myself and to my art.

The title On the Verge of Yes captures this moment: just before a significant decision, in an inner pause, before something profoundly new begins.

Connecting Life and Art – When Personal Change Becomes Visible

My latest portrait shows how closely art and personal experience are intertwined. While working on this piece, I became aware that change and new paths are inevitable. The painting is an expression of my inner world and, at the same time, an invitation for the viewer to find their own interpretation.

It is a snapshot of uncertainty, anticipation, and introspection, told in black and white – clear, subtle, and intense all at once.

Conclusion

On the Verge of Yes has become, for me, a mirror of my own inner journey. The decision to leave out certain details symbolizes letting go, pausing, and trusting the moment.

It invites the viewer to reflect on their own thoughts and feelings before taking a significant step – just like the young woman in my latest work, who is only a breath away from her “yes.”

And all of this in the quiet season… how fitting, isn’t it?

Wishing you a Happy New Year.

Until then…

Tanja